“Co-parenting. It’s not a competition between two homes. It’s a collaboration of parents doing what is best for the kids.” -Heather Hetchler.
The path of maintaining a marriage comes with a lot of obstacles. Unfortunately, sometimes, the obstacles may outweigh the joys of marriage, and that is when couples may find themselves looking for a divorce lawyer.
Divorce is a tough decision. It becomes all the more difficult if there are kids involved in the picture. However, there are a lot of healthy ways to cope with this challenging situation. Divorce does not necessarily have to mean unhappy kids. Here are some effective co-parenting strategies to raise healthy, happy kids after divorce.
Communicate effectively with your kids about the divorce
Divorce can be challenging for your kids to understand and process. After all, children are innocent and are still growing and developing- both mentally and physically. That is why when parents decide to look for a divorce lawyer, it is important to slowly and effectively communicate this vital decision to the kids.
Parents need to understand that it’s essential to explain to their kids that they’re legally getting separated. Parents should also know that a child may not be able to understand why the parents are getting a divorce. So, parents must communicate the reasoning in an easy-to-understand and filtered manner (age-appropriate explanations are essential).
Avoid arguing about personal conflicts in front of the child
One of the most effective ways to prevent your child or children from feeling traumatized about the divorce is to avoid arguing in front of your kids about issues related to the separation.
You must remember that when kids see parents arguing about personal conflicts regularly, it can lead to them developing trust issues and/or commitment issues in the future. They might deal with anxiety issues in the future too. As parents, it is important to prioritize your child’s well-being and, therefore, try your best to get along in front of your child. Try to be on the same page regarding parenting decisions.
Counselling is important
Even if you have effectively communicated to your child about the divorce and the reasoning behind it, it is still important to arrange for counselling and/or therapy for your children. Counselling is not just for troubled individuals. Anyone can visit a counsellor. Counselling is great for preserving and improving one’s mental health too. This applies to children too. If you are looking for a divorce counsellor then ask your divorce lawyer for a recommendation.
Your children may not be able to communicate the kind of problems they may be facing due to the divorce. Therefore, counselling can help your child cope with your divorce. Try to place yourself in your child’s shoes and think how you would feel if you found out that your parents are getting divorced. Divorce is difficult for the entire family, not just the parents. Counselling can even help you and your partner navigate your way through parenting after divorce. Remember that you need to give your child space, time, and opportunity to grieve about the divorce.
Routine is important
Suppose you’ve unofficially separated from your partner and you do not live together anymore and looking for a divorce lawyer. In that case, it means that your children are probably having to live in both your houses. They’re probably spending a few days with you and the rest of the days each week with your partner. This can be difficult for kids. A change in the physical environment can negatively impact them.
Just like you’re adjusting to life without your partner; similarly, your kids are adjusting to spending time with you and your partner separately. Therefore, maintaining a routine can be helpful. Try to maintain a similar routine for your kids in your house and your partner’s house. A form of stability and consistency is important for kids if their parents have separated.
Avoid speaking negatively about your ex-partner in front of your children
As mentioned earlier, divorce is a tough choice and happens when a couple cannot find ways to preserve their relationship or resolve conflicts related to the relationship. Therefore, there is a high possibility that you may harbour negative feelings towards your partner. But that does not mean that you should speak negatively about your ex in front of your child. This will negatively affect your child. Their mannerisms towards you and your ex may change.
Your child is not a certified therapist or a professional counsellor. If you’re seeing a professional counsellor or therapist, have these conversations with them, not your child. You and your ex are co-parenting the children. Therefore, the parents should not speak ill about each other in front of the kids.
Raising children after the divorce lawyers have been is an arduous journey full of challenges. As a parent, the best you can do is prioritize your child’s well-being and face those challenges head-on! Keep the strategies mentioned above in mind and look after your child! You can do it!
Your divorce lawyer is a great person to ask about how to deal with divorce after it has happened as any divorce lawyer will have seen what you are going through many many times before so if you find a good divorce lawyer then they will support you and your from start to finish.
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